I think I've dropped the ball. But I didn't ever really see where the ball was to catch it. How can they expect someone who has never even been to a PTA meeting to plan an entire open house in, what? a week-and-a-half? I feel like a deer caught in headlights. I normally try to avoid cliches, but here's the thing: it occurred to me that this particular cliche is good for this situation because, that's really how I feel and I'm terrified that, just like in that situation, the deer (me) is going to do a ton of damage to whatever's got those headlights (the open house tonight).
Maybe I should have asked for help. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to be a chairperson. Maybe I should have waited until school started and I went to a PTA meeting to agree to be a chairperson.
I know why I did it though, agreed to this. It's because now I have to do it. If I had just told myself that I would join the PTA this year but not be responsible for anything, I would have found a ton of really lame excuses for why I couldn't go to meetings. But as a chair, I can't skip out, and the part of me that wants me to succeed knows that and makes rash decisions on my behalf that trap me in situations where the rest of me feels like it would be better to get the stomach flu right now and just be sick all weekend.