Me: Hello?
Her: Hello. Mrs. [Nintendo]?
Me, hesitantly, already: Yes.
Her: This is Barbara. I'm not going to keep you. I'm just calling to let you know that we're doing our annual fundraising...
Me, interrupting: I'm sorry. Where are you calling from?
-Meaning "Who is doing their annual fundraising?" because, see, she hadn't bothered to say. I know her name, but I'm not going to be giving money to just "Barbara".
Her: Florida.
-Seriously! For real! She said Florida! Like that mattered! I still didn't know who was doing the fundraising. But she did answer my question, I guess.
Me: No. I don't care what state you're in. What are you raising funds for?
-I really said that. And I totally sounded annoyed by how stupid she was being.
Her: The American Breast Cancer [something].
-I don't remember what she said, honestly, because at that point it didn't really matter.
Me: Yeah. I'm not interested.
Note to people trying to get money from me: It's a good idea to start out sounding like you know what you're talking about. Otherwise I'll assume you're just some stupid criminal and you'll lose my attention.
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