Mother's Day (really long!)

Warning: I'm about to BIG whine complain because I am passive aggressive and don't know how to ask for what I want without sounding whiny needy dumb, but maybe writing it down will make it easier.

When I worked in Big Bank Land and other places where they actually paid me with more than Job Satisfaction, once a year there was a holiday to celebrate me and all that I did, and for the most part my bosses did a good job with the recognition. PSP got celebrated this year, big time (note to PSP, I wasn't sure which of your posts to link to so here's a plug for the whole shebang)! Even though my job description has changed, it's cool because there is still a day to celebrate me and all that I do for no money (not complaining - room and board is cool), and now it's way more important to me because now I do my job 24/7, and I'm pretty good at it (could be tidier, but the kids aren't stinky suffering).

Okay, so my first Mothers' Day six years ago (I know I should just get over this, but you need to know, and I didn't post about it last year because I was still doing that whole boss 1/boss 2 thing), Husbandguy dropped the ball. It sucked. His fabulous plan for my Very First Mothers' Day was to invite his parents to spend the day with us and for him take me shopping for a hairdryer (with his parents), but he didn't tell me about the shopping and I didn't want to have to buy my own hairdryer anyway if it was going to be called a present. So when everyone was getting ready to go out to do something I didn't think I wanted to do (I don't remember what he said it was going to be), I was thinking HG just hadn't bothered to do anything to celebrate me on my day, and I asked to be left behind. I tried to hurry them out the door before I cried, but HG hung around and saw me. It sucked. I felt selfish and stupid and sorry for myself which made me feel more selfish and stupid. I was even more disappointed because I had already set HG's Very First Fathers' Day gift in motion (I took Pete to have portraits made as a surprise), and also, my "present" from his parents was a coupon that I had to spend $50 to use (I wouldn't have cared too much if they hadn't said it was a "present").

HG has done better with the last 4 M-Day's. For the last couple of years, we've gone to the farmers' market and he and Pete have let me pick out hanging planters for the front porch. I love that!

This year, though, I don't have high hopes. Our plan... Well... We're going to celebrate his mom. She's a mom too and deserves to be celebrated and it's fine, but HG's parents don't really seem to care to celebrate me (I still maintain that they put my name on HG's Christmas present so they could claim they got me something* too) and I want to be celebrated. There. I said it. And I don't care only care a little don't care if you think I'm selfish. This is my job, and I love my job, and I want someone to tell me I'm doing a good job, and she's not my mom or even particularly mom-like to me most of the time, and even so, it's not all about her, like our plan would make it. We are planning to get up Super Early on M-Day and drive to their house and have breakfast with them (probably have to buy it) and then spend the whole day at their house. whee. And come home after dinner and get the girls to bed late even though they have school the next day (causing the potential for Tired-Child Issues for me to deal with). Well, I told HG that we needed to be at home for dinner because the girls will need their hair washed and they really should go to bed on time, and now he's all, "I don't know what to do." I had originally said I didn't want to spend the night before there. I don't rest well there. I don't have fun there usually. It was too much. But I told HG that maybe we could go up and spend the night (why? why did I say that?!) since we had to cut Sunday short. But he's still all, "I don't know what to do" because I want to go see a friend and her kids (who we haven't seen in forever and who have experienced divorce and dad-moving-out in that time and I really want to see them) on Saturday after Pete's Guild audition and to go to his parents' house from her house adds a whole hour-and-a-half to our trip. I don't know either. I don't want to go at all.

I want to sleep in and have pancakes brought to me by my girls in bed and get pretty little homemade cards and take a leisurely shower before we head off to the farmers' market to pick out my flowers and a quart of pretty strawberries and something to plant. Barring that, I want a day to lie around all day and watch an old movie and eat whatever and bake something yummy and maybe be taken out for dinner.

HG complained because I haven't given him much of a wish list for what I'd like for a present, and then he got mad when I said I didn't really want a present, I just wanted to be celebrated, and I didn't want to talk about it and left the room.

I'm being selfish. I don't care if you think that. I'm thinking about suggesting I not go to his parents. I took steroids today and will probably be cranky on Sunday anyway. Then they can go whenever and I can do whatever and everything will be fine. They still need to be home for dinner, though.


*If they were really giving us both something, we would have a range that you don't have to tell the oven to turn on 6 times before it actually does, only to heat up to 25º less than you requested, and that doesn't reset the timer if you need to adjust the temperature, and that doesn't try to reset the clock or set a timed bake cycle once you almost convince it to almost let you set the timer. Same price - maybe less - something we needed and I wanted.