Quality vs. Quantity

I have always preferred quality over quantity. More is not better. My diamond? Which I wasn't expecting to get at all and was fine without (good story, that - I'll tell you later), is fairly small but nearly perfect and I so prefer it to some gaudy, cloudy, speckled boulder. I would rather have 2 dozen good books on my shelf than have 240 books I'd never want to read. And I like books. I'd rather have a modestly-sized, freshly baked cinnamon roll than a giant, grocery store, rock-hard chunk of bleh. No matter how much icing they put on it. You get it, right? Let me know if not because I'm sure I can come up with at least a couple more examples.

Did you notice, though, that this past year I tried to post something on TIBM every day? Quantity. Sometimes it was something worth reading and sometimes it was just a note to you, my loyal reader, about how I didn't have anything to share that day. Mostly my posts were somewhere in between, I think. Quite honestly, I think the overall quality of my writing suffered in my quest for quantity. It is not necessary for you to agree with me in the comments (please don't - I'll feel bad). The best month, in my opinion, was April when, in addition to my post-a-day challenge for myself, I took on a poem-a-day challenge with fairly pleasing results. And I had some other good stuff here and there (feel free to recall your personal favorites in the comments), but in general? Well...

So for 2009 I've decided to only post when I have something to say (except in April when I'll be doing the whole poem-a-day thing again*). I doubt that any of you finds yourself relying on your daily dose of TIBM, but if you do, I apologize now. I just can't do it anymore. I don't want to. I love blogging, but enough is enough. Hopefully you'll agree that this is better.


*Here is a challenge for any of you who will take it: you post a poem-a-day in April too! It doesn't have to be your work (but you need to give proper credit if it's not - MN wags her finger). I'll remind you. Let's do it together!

All About MEEEEE!

My PhD appointment was cancelled last week because PhD was sick. When she called to cancel, the first thing she said was, "Are you doing okay?" And I said, "Yes!" without hesitation. Because I am okay. This last year wasn't easy for me (was yours easy? really?), but I learned some things from all the ick.

I learned:

• I am likeable and useful and interesting and afraid of failing and overly critical of myself and a dog person.
• It's a good idea to ask for help when you need it and people usually want to help you when you really need them to. Especially the people who love you.
• I like to brag about 2 things: my girls and my baking. And both all 3 of those things are worth bragging about.

I'm not going to make any New Year's resolutions for 2009 because that's not my style, really. And also because I might break them and that would be failing and I'm afraid of that, you know? But there are some things I'd like to do. Maybe next year at this time we can check them off together...

I'd like to:

• Make good progress on my novel.
• Check out the Unitarian Church and join the choir.
• Teach the dog a command that consistently diverts him from jumping up.

That's not too much to try to do, right? Wish me luck!

What are you going to try to do in 2009?

Why I Like Husbandguy (or He's Actually Cooler than I Make Him Seem)

When we (the family and I) were at the Grandpa and Meme's house recently, TG commented on the fact that I'm not particularly flattering in my portrayals of HG here on TIBM. He's somewhat right. But when I clicked on the HG tag, I pulled up a bunch of posts about the cool stuff he does, like print signs for the PTA on the plotter at his old job or drive Lulu to the emergency room in the middle of the night or do all the driving when my medicine makes me sick or take the girls to his mom's for Mother's Day Eve and morning so I could have a night off or build me a bookcase in the back of the unusable kitchen cabinet for my cookbooks. Still, though, being that he's not particularly expressive and doesn't like my dog, sometimes he does come across cranky or insensitive or uninteresting in my posts. So here's my tribute to him to make up for that.

Why I like HG:

• He's a great dad. I knew when I married him that he was good with kids (thanks for that PSP), and he still continues to confirm that. Sometimes he is impatient and gets aggravated and yells because our girls are at aggravating, frustrating, patience-trying ages, both of them, and I get like that too. But mostly he reads to them endlessly and cuts up their food and they use him like a jungle gym and he watches their TV shows (sometimes when football is on). He teases them and jokes with them and tucks them in at night (we share this job). He knows what they like and who their friends and teachers are. He's proud of them and they adore him.
• He's a loving husband. I can't remember if I commented recently on how he drove me to my first PhD appointment and I was surprised to learn that he actually wanted to drive me there. I assumed that he drove me places because I asked him to and that he didn't really want to, but I learned that day that I was wrong. It was inconvenient for him because he had to find some way to kill an hour since he couldn't come in with me, but he did it because he wanted to. He doesn't do all the things some guys do. There are a couple of things he doesn't do that I wish he would, but he does other things, like open jars and get irritated along with me at the mail-order pharmacy and defer to my preferences when picking restaurants or TV shows or wall colors or baby names or pets (frequently).
• He's smart and funny and he gets my jokes and he likes my family and he drives us to see TG and Meme and he walks my dog when I really need him to.
• He's likeable. Other people really like HG. I think that's awesome.

I think he's awesome.

My Year in Review

Let's see... What did I do this year... What happened to/around me...

My husband worked hard every day at home and at work. He lost his job and found a better one. He continued doing what he does best and what irritates me the most.

My oldest daughter turned 6 and started first grade. She learned that she can read chapter books to herself and that 2+3=5 (and other "math facts") and how to write her name in cursive. She had her first guild audition and piano recital. She picked out the newest member of our family. She started mastering the elementary backstroke (which doesn't look very elementary to me - it looks complex!). She took her first trip to Ohio, my birth state. She made butter.

My younger daughter turned 2 and learned the sound that Q makes (and a bunch of other letter sounds). She made new friends everywhere she went. Literally. Everywhere. She thought about using the potty fulltime but decided it's not for her yet. She learned to count to eleventeen, but then exceeded that and counted all the way to 20. She discovered (unexpectedly, and surprising her daddy in the process) that it is fun to go underwater in the pool.

We, as a family, got a puppy and taught him to sit. Well, maybe that was mostly me, but he lives with all of us. We weathered stressful times before Husbandguy got laid off when everyone else in his office was losing their jobs and then while he was out of work. We used our season passes to our local amusement park enough to make them worth the money, but not as much as we would have liked. We went on several trips out of state and (re)connected with old friends and/or relatives we hadn't seen in forever (or ever met in some cases). We laughed and played and cried and yelled and smiled and sang and complained and glared and colored and read and slammed doors and painted walls and broke things and fixed things and kissed and hugged and grew and learned.

It seems that this post is more about what happened around me this year. I think I'll save what happened to me for a separate post. Either it would make this post too long to address it here or it wouldn't add anything and won't be missed. We'll see...

I've Been Looking Back

I've been reviewing my posts from this year and I was struck by how much my girls have grown. Like every mom who takes the time to look back, right?

Being with them every day, I don't notice what a big difference there is in their skills, tastes, and knowledge from just a few months ago. Unless I take the time to notice, which I do, but not often enough. Both Pete's and Lulu's language skills have improved so much this year. Reading, writing, speaking, comprehending. My girls have always been gifted verbally (just a little bragging - forgive me), but the strides they've both made this year have amazed even me, their mom, who knows they're both geniuses. I'm so impressed by Pete that I bought her Little Women for Christmas. She's a year younger than I was when I first read it and may not think she's quite ready, but I know she can do it and want to give her the chance. They're both so much more confident in what they like and don't like. And they're able to tell me why, most of the time, if they don't like something.

They're also growing physically, obviously, and I have to make an effort to notice that, too. Pete's tall enough to ride a bunch of roller coasters and is losing the kindergarten pudge her doctor expressed concern about at her last check up. Lulu's not a toddler anymore. She's also lost some pudge - that baby fat that's so cute on teeny toddlers - and is so much more a little kid than a baby. It's adorable and beautiful and a little sad (but in a good way).

I'm sure ther are those of you who are thinking I should stop looking back and just look forward and you're half right. I should look forward too, and I do. But I like to look back. I don't dwell in the past. I relish it, and my girls enjoy when I retell it. I'm helping them build memories by talking to them about mine and about theirs. That's important. Memories matter. That's why I started blogging.

Warning

Retrospectives coming up. There's been a bit of omphaloskepsis going on around here. I'm gonna share...

All Done

Was your Christmas as good as ours?

Christmas Morning at My House

It is nearly 10 after 7 AM. December 25. I am certain that Santa came last night, but at the moment I seem to be the only one who cares because EVERYONE ELSE IS STILL SLEEPING! They were all up by 6:30 yesterday (HG because he had to work, but still). Some households have been up for 2 hours by now. More even, I bet! Not mine. I wouldn't mind but I'm a morning person and I'm ready for Christmas morning. This happened last year too.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

from THE ITSY BITSY MONKEY

Oh, that kid!

This evening, Lulu was looking out the window and noticed that the neighbors had turned on their Christmas wonderland display (her favorite part is el pinguino who pops in and out of his igloo), and she got all excited. "Come look out the window, My Daddy!" she called, and when Daddy didn't come right away she called to her sister, "[Pete] look out the window! It's Christmas! Now it's Christmas!!"

Then she added, "Now we just need snow..."

Christmas Wishes

A bedtime conversation:

Pete, from under the covers: Mom, I want a dog for Christmas.
MN, peeking in Pete's door: I know, sweetie. Me too. I'll tell Daddy.
MN, turning to HG who happens to be walking by: [Pete] wants a dog for Christmas, Daddy.
HG, in a flat voice, pointing to Howie: There's a dog right there. You got your wish.
MN to Pete: Did you hear Daddy?
Pete: Yeah. gigglegiggle

Merry Christmas!

What We Did Yesterday

More Caroling with Lulu

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

Oh Jo! The mystery toe,
Hung where you can see.
Somebody waits for you
Somebody waits for you
Somebody waits for you
Somebody waits for you.
Mystering up the chimney!

Also, I forgot to mention yesterday that you have to YELL Jingle Bells with an angry sort of rhythm.

Jingle Bells a la Lulu

Feel free to adopt these as your new lyrics.

Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle all the way!
Oh that sun it is to rive
In one more sorts and sleigh!

.

The Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve Parade

This morning I gradually came to realize that there had been some kind of commotion going on in the background for a while, and when I actually paid attention to it, it turned out it was a little parade. An awesome little parade.

Around the fireplace in the center of the great room trooped Lulu and Howie. Round and round. Round and round. Lulu was singing at the top of her lungs. "How much is that dog-gy in the window? How MUCH is that DOG-gy in the window? How MUCH is that DOG-gy in the window?" Howie trailed behind, accompanying her on the squirrel, "SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK!!" It was chaos. And it was awesome!

Probably Shouldn't Say Anything

I've done it before, gotten all excited about my little one getting potty trained, only to be put on hold a day or 2 later. But this seems different. This morning she got up and told Pete she needed to go potty and she did. And her Pull Up was dry when she got undressed for her bath last night so I suggested she sit on the potty and she did and she went. And there have been a bunch of other little successes over the past week or 2. So hope with me, okay? Maybe she's finally really ready...

My Reality TV Show

Normally I don't wish I had a camera crew following me around all the time, but this morning I did wish that because something Super Precious happened and I was nowhere near my camera but if the camera crew was here filming my reality TV show, I would have video of it.



Lulu had just opened her "Meme present" (her words) from the snowman calendar. Today she got the little cut-out figurines you see in the picture above. She was very pleased. Then this happened:

LL: You want to see this?
MN: Sure!
LL (standing the princess and castle up facing each other and saying as the princess waddled toward the castle): The princess walked up to the castle and knocked on the door (the princess tapped on the castle - with Lulu's help). Knock, knock, knock... But nobody answered.

And there was more to the story - the story that my 2 year-old made up on the spot about her brand new toys, but I don't remember it exactly because nobody was recording it! Where can I hire a camera crew?! I hate not being able to share this stuff with other people. It's not the same when you write it down. Especially when you don't remember it exactly. I wonder how awkward it would be to carry my camera with me at every moment...

Crumb Cake Crap

The other day, everyone but Lulu had crumb cake for dessert. Lulu had candy, and when she was done with that she sweeted Husbandguy into sharing a couple of bites of his cake. After she finished chewing her second bite, she turned for another, but HG's cake was gone. "There isn't any more," he said. "Uh-huh!" she replied pointing to the little pile of crumb topping on his plate. "What about that pile of crap? Can I have some of that crap?"

Speaking of Music

Watch this. It's great!

http://vimeo.com/1509073

.

Pete Says:

Get This!

Lulu's Pull-Up was dry when we got home from the mall today. It was the one I put on her when I got her dressed this morning, and it had been about 5 hours. She held her pee the whole time. I had her sit on the potty when I changed her for her nap and then gave her a great big Hello Kitty sticker because that's pretty cool.

Winter Weather

I am 99% certain that it snowed yesterday. Husbandguy saw the flake too.

For me, It's Not About the Dancing

Pete and I went on our annual trip downtown to see "The Nutcracker" yesterday. Is it a tradition if you've only done it 2 years in a row? I think so.

The performance wasn't any better or worse than last year. I don't think. I have to admit that I missed a lot of the dancing. My eyes were on the orchestra pit. The music was live! How could I not watch the musicians? Next year I'm bringing my binoculars. To watch the musicians. Ballet is so much better with live music. And there were a couple of times (don't laugh at me) when the music got all dramatic and I got all choked up (I said don't laugh at me). For real. Tears-in-my-eyes choked up. I'm pretty sure certain the dancing wasn't what got to me, and I don't think it was the story (although I am a sucker for a sweet little fantasy). It was the music. Our little symphony is pretty good. And music just gets to me. Not only classical music either. All music. All kinds. I don't have the same reaction to all music, either. Sometimes I get weepy, like with this or with some religious or patriotic songs (those of you who know me best might think that's odd, but what can I say?). Sometimes I get all bubbly-inside happy (there is actually at least one Cure song that does that to me). Sometimes I get excited - heart racing, fight-or-flight kind of excited. Sometimes I get aroused ((blush))... I don't usually get angry (although I did get a little annoyed at the parent of the little girl who crinkled her cellophane for about 10 minutes after the lights went down for the 2nd act. I would have told her to stop myself if I'd been closer. But that wasn't a reaction to the music). In fact, if I don't have a physical reaction to music I'm listening to, I have to figure out why. So instead of listening to KISS sing "Rock and Roll All Night" with Husbandguy, I hear the lack of depth in the music and wish we could change the station.

It's kind of the same when I'm playing the piano or singing. At least it used to be. When I am comfortable with a piece, the music is physical for me. It comes through me. Or out of me. The piano - keys, pedals, bench even - and the music - melody, chords, harmony & dissonance - and I aren't separate. It's weird to say I become one with the music. And it's not exactly accurate to say that because that's not what it's like. Maybe it's right to say I become one with the piano. That's still weird, but it's closer... However I describe it (and I'll think of a good description as soon as this posts), it's physical. If it's not, it feels fake and it's frustrating and not pleasurable or worth doing.

So I wish they would always have live music at the ballet. Or if they don't, I wish they would print the information about the recording they're using, at least, because I think it's important. And I hope that at some point in the near future, HG says yes (yes=shrugs his shoulders and doesn't say no), that there's enough money for me to take piano lessons again and that he and the girls will support my doing that. And in the meantime, if someone has a copy of Bach's 2-Part Invention #13 in A-minor that you could share with me, would you send it along? I have a whole book of his 3-part inventions (thank you, TG), but I think I'd like to learn that one.

Frosty the TV Show

Did you watch "Frosty the Snowman" on CBS last night? Were you also bothered by the little girl in the pink jumper with short sleeves and no coat? Look at the 2nd and 3rd pictures from the bottom on this page and you'll see what I mean. Poor kid!

Wishful Thinking

Baby Backwards

Oops! We've messed up the baby. Last year we went to the beach at Christmas time. Yesterday Lulu and I were looking at her book about the seasons, and when we turned to the page that has pictures of children dressed in seasonally appropriate clothes, I asked her which child was dressed to go to the beach. She pointed to the little boy in his winter coat and hat and mittens. Tee hee. Whoops!

A Couple of Sailors, Is What I've Got

Yesterday, both girls were home with me all day. Pete because she still had a fever and Lulu because it was Tuesday. And the language! Holy cow! Those girls! Husbandguy and I don't swear a lot. Maybe a little more than we used to since we got the dog, but it's rare, especially in front of the girls. And there are some words we never say (like @#!*) because we have good enough vocabularies to express ourselves without the added expletives, but the girls are hearing it somewhere because they both said some stuff yesterday... Hoo! Lulu yelled, "Damn it!" I'll share the blame for that one with HG. We've both been known to say that when uber-frustrated. Pete, though, said "bitch" just to say it. I could blame the TV for this one, but it was my program she was watching when she heard it and we had the discussion about what it means and why it's okay to call a dog that but not a person. She wasn't talking about a girlfriend for Howie, though; she was testing limits. Fortunately neither of them said @#!*...

Aaauugghhh!

Pete was home again today. Her fever goes up and down, up and down, but she says she feels better so that's good. But now Lulu has a fever!! Husbandguy is probably next...

I'll have to cancel my tour of the Montessori school that was scheduled for tomorrow. I've got time to reschedule, though, before we can even apply, and I'm actually leaning toward the non-Montessori school, based on conversations with some other parents at Pete's school (and the cost, frankly).

Recipe Wanted

I posted this yesterday, but no one responded so I'm moving it to today in case you guys just missed it...

Okay. Husbandguy did like the gingerbread, but it was more molasses-y than gingerbread-y so I'm going to have to try again. I admit that I didn't follow the recipe, but the changes I made wouldn't have made a big enough difference for me to try that recipe again in hopes of getting a more gingery gingerbread. So, if you have a good gingerbread recipe (Moomie?) and wouldn't mind sharing it, would you post it in comments for me? If I get a chance to make it, I'll definitely tell you if HG likes yours.

Sicky McSickpants

Today Pete is home from school. She had a fever last night and this morning and threw up when she got up today. Right now she feels okay. She even asked if it was too late for me to take her to school, but I'm pretty sure that's just the Motrin talking (and they wouldn't take her anyway) so she's staying with me. I've only had to remind her once that being Sicky McSickpants is not an excuse for also being Demandypants Pete.

I'm Baking Today

Mmmm... Gingerbread... The cake, not the cookies. I'm not a big fan of the cookies. Plus they run off while taunting you, don't they? "You can't catch me. I'm the Gingerbread Man." Right? Who needs that?

I'm making it for Husbandguy. He likes gingerbread. He almost said so when I proposed making some. He said, "That would be fine." He doesn't mean fine as in "cool" or "awesome" or "fiiiine." He means "okay." Woo-hoo. I'm inspired. Woo... Oh nevermind. I told him I wish he would be more expressive sometimes.

But I'm going to make it because he does like it, even if he won't say so out loud. I might even follow the recipe...

Pete Says:

Pete wondered if Howie would bark at Santa.

Laugh at with Husbandguy

The other morning I made pancakes. Husbandguy asked what kind of pancakes and I told him they had cinnamon and almond extract in them and he said, "Why can't you ever make anything normal?!" I thought they were good, but apparently he prefers flavorless pancakes...

-----------

The night before last, Pete and I went to look at the stars with her class. HG and Lulu stayed home and Lulu took a bath. HG told me this story when I got home:

Lulu was calling from the bathroom* for him to come and help her. "Daddy," she said, "can you come here? I need your help." When HG got to the bathroom, Lulu was standing naked in the middle of the floor in a ½" puddle of water with the great big bucket we use to hold their bath toys on the floor next to her. The bucket was full of water. "Daddy," she said, "I need you to help me get this bucket back in the tub. I can't get it back in the tub. It's too heavy." HG said he didn't know how all the water had gotten on the floor because the bucket was full to the top. I asked him how she got the bucket full of water out of the tub in the first place. He didn't know. Silly kid. It's fun when she makes her daddy laugh.

*I want to make it clear that I do not condone leaving a 2 year-old alone in the bath. HG knows how I feel about this. And I think he may have learned his lesson...

I Think I Forgot to Mention

Pete read a whole chapter book to herself over Thanksgiving weekend. For the first time. I knew she could do it! She's Super Proud. Yay Pete!!

A New Project!

I've started my search for Lulu's first real school. Where she goes right now is fine. For right now. But this kid is really smart and the place she goes to now tells you straight up that they aren't an academic program, that they focus on social skills, and Lulu needs more than that. Also, they say grace before lunch, which I should have known they did when I put her there, since the program is in a church, and that is great for the families that want that and I don't think they should stop or anything, but I'm done with it and feel like it's time for something else. That's coming out all jumbled up, but you get it. Right? If I don't care for my child having to say grace then I should move her to a school where she won't be required to do that. Shut up, MN. Move on!

Lulu is guaranteed a spot at the school Pete goes to but not until she's 4. I thought it would be good for her to have a year of Montessori under her tiny little belt before then. So I started, this week, looking at Montessori schools. There are a few around here. The one Pete went to, one near where Husbandguy works now, and a couple more. I found this really amazing-sounding program with all the usual Montessori stuff - language, math, science, practical life, music, grace and courtesy - and more - cooking, nature walks, etc. It sounds like my understanding of Maria Montessori's original idea. But it's for ages 3 to 6 and there are only 15 spaces and it's really hard to get into because siblings of children already enrolled in the elementary school get priority. They do have a program for regular children, though, and it has more openings so I've made an appointment to visit.

And there's another school that's not Montessori but might be a good choice. I know several children who went/are going there, and they're all amazing little kids. Their program sounds very progressive and child-centric and definitely worth a look.

This probably isn't as interesting for you as it is for me, but there you go.

Potty Update

Lulu was back in Pull Ups by 10 AM. By her own choice. Oh well. One step forward; one step back.

Back in the Potty Saddle

At least for today... Lulu wore big girl undies to school today.

No Cute Title for this Life or Death Post

We suck. We really do. Before the dog, when we went away for a long weekend like the one we just had, we would pay the 12 year-old down the street $5 to $10 to feed the sweet little kitty who has lived outside our house for the last 5½ years. But this time, we forgot all about that. I took care of boarding the dog, and Husbandguy left the cat a bowl full of food, but we really should have had someone come by at least once and give her a little more food, and we didn't. We suck. And now she's missing. We haven't seen her since we got back. HG has been putting food in her bowl, and it's being eaten, but we have at least 1 opossum and a few other neighborhood cats around here so there's no way to be certain who's eating it. I don't think it's our kitty. And I'm worried. And feeling a little guilty...

Over the River and Through the Woods...

Except instead of going to Grandmother's house, we went to the Grandpa and Meme's for the holiday. Husbandguy was the valiant horse "pulling the sleigh" through the thronging and puttering traffic. He's cool. And we did actually go over some rivers and through some woods, if not in exactly the same way we would have done 100+ years ago when they didn't have 6-lane bridges to cross on.

We had a Super Nice Time at TG&MM's, like we always do. It's comfortable there. And the girls hardly fought at all; so that was a change from what has been the norm. TG&MM enjoyed having them there (see? and see here? and here?) and the feeling was mutual. HG is hard to read sometimes, but I think he had a good time most of the time. He seemed to enjoy the aquarium and got to watch football all day Saturday with minimal interruptions (compared to at home).

Did I mention I made rolls to bring to Meme's sister's house for Thanksgiving? I didn't mention that? Oh. Well, I did and they were really good and we all had one on Saturday for a snack (4 days later) and they were still good! If only I'd followed the recipe, I could make those rolls again sometime...

Howie stayed at a kennel near here. It's the one the couple at the dog park recommended. I was a little worried about him because he got so sick when we took him away from his first family, but he did well at the kennel. They said he went outside to potty, not in his room, and he played during playtime, and when I picked him up, he was definitely healthy. And very happy to see me. And hungry and thirsty, apparently, because he wolfed down the food I put out for him and I've had to refill his water 4 times in the last 5 hours. And the cost was under $100 for 5 nights. We will definitely be leaving him there again. Honestly, I didn't miss him as much as he missed me. But don't tell him that.

Reboot

You know how when you get back from vacation it takes a day or 2 to get back on track? That's what I'm doing today. Rebooting. Here's my list.

• Get everyone dressed and off to school/work. (check)
• Go to the grocery store. (check)
• Go to Target for cat food and Pull Ups.
• Pick up the dog (more about that later).
• Unpack.
• Do laundry.

It might not look like a lot, just 6 things, but Husbandguy would say that it's not getting done with me sitting here. So check back later... Or tomorrow...