WFMAD, day 8

Last year, I missed the beginning of WFMAD because the girls and I were at the beach with Moomie. Plus, I didn't know about it until I got back from the beach and looked up LHA's website.

This year, I missed a few days because I was in DC and VA with Pete. My beautiful cousin (who apparently reads my blog but never COMMENTS!) got married this past Saturday. Pete and I took advantage of the location and met the Grandpa a few days early and spent some time touring the Smithsonian Museums. Pete had never been to DC so I gave her her choice of things to do (see the monuments, go to the museums, tour the White House, a combination of those, etc.). She picked the museums, and there are plenty of them to fill up 2 days. It was fun. We rode the bus to the Metro station and then rode the Metro to Federal Triangle and then walked and walked and walked and walked all around. Pete was totally comfortable with the public transportation stuff. She'd be a great kid to live in a real city with.

Oh, we did visit one monument, the Washington Monument. Pete put her hands on it. When I asked her what it felt like, she said, "Stone... And history..."

And my cousin's wedding was wonderful. They did a great job of combining Catholic and Jewish traditions. I'd never danced the Horah before! Pete had a great time, too.

Plus, now my cousin and my new cousin live super close to HG's parents, which isn't far from here!

But anyway, I'm back on track with WFMAD. I might even take some time and try some of the ones I missed if I get a minute. Or 15... I'll share a little if I write anything worth sharing!

(And remind me to tell you about the job I applied for...)

Project and Consequences

Remember our newest project (click here)? A large portion of it got done on Saturday.

Doesn't it look different (from the picture in the other post)? It reminds me of a public park. You know, usable space surrounded by woods. I have big plans for that area, including a fence for the dog and a deck for the husband and a treehouse for the girls. I've already had a benefit from the new space, a bluebird couple has been spending a TON of time there. They're so pretty. If I had a better camera I'd show you, but they don't come close enough to where I am with my little camera to get a good shot. Also, this morning, the goldfinch, the boy one, was back at the feeder by the kitchen window. Yay! Birds!

On Sunday, I spent time clearing away the vines and brush left on the hill, where I'm hoping we'll be able to grow some grass eventually, but I got distracted by some buried treasure.

Those are some of my great-grandmother's iris bulbs. A decade ago, Moomie and I planted a bunch of them in front of the house, and Moomie took the extras and stuck them in the hill around back. I don't think they ever bloomed, and eventually they got over-grown by a miserable vine and some honeysuckle. I remembered they were somewhere near there but didn't know for certain where until I was clearing away the brush. Now they have their own little bed around the side of the house, which was occupied by a puny boxwood 10 years ago.

Sadly, all of the treasure I got from the hill wasn't so pleasant. I knew there was poison ivy there (Lulu says 'itchy ivus') and I thought I was careful, but the irises were such a nice surprise that I think I might have actually been careless because there is now a giant itchy spot on my right arm right where my arm bends and a smaller itchy spot in the same place on my left arm and itchy spots on my neck and shoulders around the collar of my shirt and also a little one down the right side of my face by my eye. Sigh. Itchy ivus sucks. I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard today...

Still, though, you can see all the way to the creek (should be cool to watch from a safe distance when it rains), and last night I saw a rabbit!

It's like, you know, whatever...

Last night someone I had just met told me that she feels like she knows me. I started to say that I have one of those faces (because I do - seriously - I look like that girl you went to 2nd grade with), but before I could say anything she added, "Because of the Follies. I had fun watching you in the Follies, and I feel like I know you." (first of all, wow! really?)

"Great," I said facetiously, "You know me as Zuzu [a clueless ditz]. That's not good."

And she said, "But I like you!"

We were coming from a meeting at which I managed to have an overwhelming coughing fit and had to leave the room just as the meeting was starting, and when I got back and everyone (EVERYONE) inquired whether I was okay, I said, "I'm just trying to get out of participating." Am I clever or what?

Don't say "Or what," because you'll hurt my feelings. Unless you're being funny. Then you'll only mock-hurt my feelings.

Back on track: It's been a long time since anyone outside of the Follies 2010 Writing Team has mentioned Zuzu (not counting my kids) or me in the Follies at all. It was cool of her to say something because, frankly, the glow was starting to wear off for me. Sure, I'm all participatey in the writing of the Next Big Show with all my funny suggestions and whatnot (at least 2 of my ideas are definitely IN the show in October), and that's cool and creative and those 6 people on the team with me appreciate me, but with all the other stuff, the house not selling, me messing up Lulu's educational future, the dog costing $80,000,000,000 and not having anything wrong with her, I haven't seen my mom in forever and she's only an hour away, etc., etc., etc... WHIIINE... Where was I? Oh, right. It was nice to feel special for a moment.

And isn't it weird that she was so affected by my performance that she remembers it even now, 5 months later? Maybe not weird, but... you know.

BAZINGA!

Pete's comedy gene is kicking in, I think. She has said several clever and original things recently that made me laugh. Let's see if they translate well secondhand...

Last night at dinner, Pete shared one of her sweet potato fries with Lulu, who hadn't liked them the last time she'd tried them. This time, though, she took a bite, chewed, and then triumphantly declared, "I swallowed it!" Being silly people, Husbandguy and I said alarming things like, "Oh no! Why would you do that?!" and "Now what are we going to do?!" and "You're not supposed to swallow them!" (haha - we're funny - haha) But Pete had the best one. She said, "I'm not swallowing them. I just chew on them for flavor and then hide them under my tongue..." :D

Then this morning, Pete was interviewing the dog (we really are very silly here sometimes), and when she asked her what her name was I said things like, "Norbit" and "Luther," and Pete commented each time to Abby saying things like, "Norbit? That's an unusual name," and stuff. Then I noticed it was almost time for the bus to come so I said, "Ten minutes..." and Pete said to Abby, "Your name is Ten Minutes? You must be a watch dog!" :D

There was one more clever thing just recently, but I can't remember it right now. I'll post it later if I think of it.

Her great-granddad (after whom she is named) would be proud, I think...

Found This on my FB Profile

You do this too! Then tell me you did it so we can all share. Okay?

25 Things About ME!!

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.


1. I met my husband at Wal-Mart. We rarely shop there anymore.
2. We got married at the courthouse on a rainy Thursday and wouldn't trade that for a big wedding ever.
3. I will talk to you for hours about Multiple Sclerosis if I'm sure you're interested.
4. My girls are my whole world.
5. I love my little 2002 Accord, all 70,000+ miles of it. I wouldn't change anything (except if I had to I would have heated side mirrors and satellite radio).
6. I hate my tiny 2004 ranch and would change everything about it - location, size, stories, yard, kitchen... Especially the kitchen.
7. I like good draft beer, which is interesting only because until 2009 I didn't like beer at all.
8. Chewing noises and other squishy mouth sounds gross me out.
9. I was writing a novel and got to just over 10,000 words and stopped writing and can't seem to start again.
10. I have a tattoo of an elephant on my left shoulder. His name is Toby and he's holding a flower. I got him because Husbandguy said, "You're not the kind to get a tattoo."
11. I rarely follow a recipe when I cook. Recipes are for new or uncertain cooks.
12. I color my hair. Shhhh! Don't tell anyone!
13. If I could live anywhere in the country it would be in a cottage on the coast of Maine. Literally on the coast. Year-round.
14. When my littlest was a baby I celebrated every poopy diaper because they only came every 3 days.
15. My current job is the best job I've ever had and the only one I haven't wanted to quit after 2 years.
16. I wish I spoke more Spanish.
17. I would love to take piano lessons again.
18. I've been to a strip club more than once and had a good time each time.
19. I love to read. And read. And read. And read.
20. I usually have the self esteem of a chunk of concrete.
21. I hate cleaning. I can't throw anything away and prefer only to dust when there's enough dust on everything that dusting makes a visable difference and then only if I have to.
22. I didn't nurse either of my girls, but it wasn't for a lack of desire or effort. It broke my heart to give that first real bottle, but they're both okay so far...
23. Most Tuesdays feel like Friday to me all day.
24. I love my family. The ones near and far away and wish that we all lived a lot closer together than we do.
25. I'm not going to tag anybody but would like you to consider yourself tagged if you want to do this (I'll add a tag for you if you want me to...).

Second Assignment

I was about 12 or 13 when J ran away. It wasn’t unusual for him to disappear, but one day he was really gone and we didn’t know to where. I admit that I did worry for a moment, until he called from Colorado and told us that he and D had left to get away from the crowd they had been hanging around with and that he was okay. Mom and Dad told him they would send him a bus ticket whenever he was ready to come home and reminded him to keep calling and checking in. That was that for me. I was in junior high had other things to worry about than my middle brother, who may have been infinitely cooler than me but was in no way smarter than me. He would come home. Mom and Dad would handle the worrying. I wasn’t going to miss him teasing me or being obviously embarrassed by me or telling me to go away. I wouldn’t miss the police cars dropping him off in the morning or the green ink stains on the bathroom rug from where he’d tried to dye his hair again. And honestly, it was nice the way the kids at school reacted when I told them my brother and D had run away. Concern, amazement, awe. Finally I had something interesting to talk about.

Eventually he and D ended up in California. They got clean and learned to surf and make bagels. Then when he did come home, he had changed. He was still way cooler than me but now in a way that I actually wanted to be. He was clean and healthy and confident. He got a smart, pretty steady girlfriend and ran for student office and won. What a loser…

Things changed at home, too. Mom and Dad started fighting more. They went to counseling. And when Dad’s contract at the college expired and he got another teaching job in a different state, he moved and we stayed behind. We stayed so J could finish high school and Mom, who had just gotten a promotion, could get a little experience in her new position. The plan was to move to be with Dad after J graduated.

Dad came home for the weekend sometimes. I would come in the front door after school and hear the vacuum running and know that he was there. And I would feel disappointed because that meant I couldn’t watch “Santa Barbara” and that there would be fighting that weekend. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my father or miss him; it was just easier, less tense, when he wasn’t there.

One evening, somehow, Mom, Dad, J, and I were all sitting at the table eating dinner together. My oldest brother wasn’t there, but he had moved out and rarely ate dinner with us. We were eating and talking and the tension was building, like it usually did when we were all in the same place together, and then my dad broke his tooth. He exploded. He swore and then shouted, “YOUR MOTHER WANTS A DIVORCE!”

That kind of ended dinner.

My mom came into my room later to check on me. She had already talked to J; I’d heard her go into his room and knew she’d come to me next. I was doing something random, reading on my bed or lying on the floor or something. She said, “I’m sorry, sweetie. That wasn’t how we wanted to do that.”

“That’s okay,” I said. And it really was.

“Why aren’t you crying? Everyone else is crying?” she asked.

“Everyone?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said. “Even J.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess I’m just not surprised.”

for my grandma - ii

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” – Maria Montessori

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for my grandma - i

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Big Game Today

Giving

Yesterday, Pete graciously unwittingly gave a bunch of toys and books that she has outgrown to her sister. When I cleaned her room.

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My family, at least a large part of it, has decided that Christmas is only for children and that the grown-ups don't need gifts. I understand this - it's easier, less expensive, blah, blah, blah - but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Honestly, I like to get presents. I also like to give them. There is joy in either action. But I'm fine with it, I suppose. I wouldn't mind too much if Husbandguy's family ever gave me anything. Christmas with them for me is like watching someone else's family open gifts. I know I'm whining. It just sucks that I have to twist Moomie's arm to convince her to let me give them a fruitcake.

This and That

Husbandguy had a meeting with a recruiter yesterday who works for a company that is having trouble placing people for the same reason HG needs to be placed. Still, they have HG's resume and I'm sure HG made a good impression so maybe he'll be at the top of their list if something does come along. Stupid economy.

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Pete and I are going on a little trip in a couple of weeks so she can meet a whole bunch of my relatives who are related to Moomie. It's in Ohio. Know what I'm most excited about? It gets cool there at night! Like it should in September. We will have to wear jackets! Yes!! Well, that and seeing my family.

There is horseback riding near the park where we'll be staying, and Pete really wants to go horseback riding, but it would be $34 for the two of us to go riding for an hour and that's just not in the books right now. Stupid economy.

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We got a note home in Pete's work planner this week that her teachers would like to have a conference with us. DuhnDuhnDuuhhhn... She is apparently being disruptive, talking to herself and her friends when she and they are supposed to be working. She had this problem last year, too. I am grateful for the conference, but it is only the 3rd week of school! HG can't go because Lulu needs someone to stay with her, but Pete is going with me so she can be part of the plan building.

Oh, and I made her cry yesterday because I caught her in a lie. I wasn't trying to trap her or to make her cry, but she was clearly upset by being found out. She said so.

It's hard being 6, I think.

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Howie is outside right now digging in the mud. Our poor carpet.

When We Dead Awaken

The Grandpa has been encouraging me to read Adrienne Rich's essay "When We Dead Awaken." I finished it a while back, and I'm not ready to talk about the essay at length, yet - I'd like to read it again, but something struck me and I've been thinking about it ever since.

Writing about her life as a mother and a writer, Ms. Rich says this, “I was writing very little, partly from fatigue, that female fatigue of suppressed anger and loss of contact with my own being…” [emphasis added]. This “loss” was a particularly powerful image for me. As a mother, I find that I neglect parts of myself that, 10 or 15 years ago, I would have considered big parts of who I am: my creativity, my silly side, the part of me that sought out romance and fairy tales. I still do those things, but rarely, and since I define myself now as a mother, I do them in the context of mothering and not nearly as often as I should. For example, I created the Frog and Fox stories to keep Pete busy on long car trips, but I haven’t written them down and don’t always tell Pete yes when she asks for a Frog and Fox story. I read fairy tales and nursery rhymes to the girls and take Pete to the ballet, but I don’t write fairy tales or nursery rhymes (April doesn’t count) and you’ll rarely see me doing more than the pee-pee-in-the-potty dance after a successful visit with Lulu.

Fifteen years ago I wrote this poem for a friend. A couple of weeks ago she sent it back to me (not because she didn’t want it, I don’t think), and I’m glad she did because I had forgotten that I even wrote it, and reading it again reminded me that I used to have my head in a much different place all the time. Admittedly, the company I kept then was way more creative and laid back than the adult I spend most of my time with now, but that’s something to address later. I just miss that place where my head was, where my heart was. Now my head is in bedtimes and join-the-PTA! and TP-at-Target and my heart is in piano recitals and bubble baths (not the soothing kind) and braids.

I love being a mom. I wouldn’t give up my girls for anything. In fact, my biggest joys and fears are all about them. But that’s just it: it’s all about them. I said above that I define myself as a mother. That is my primary role in life. It’s my job, 24-7, for which I receive goodnight kisses and sticky-fingered hand-holding and other similarly magical things (and room and board). It’s the best job I’ve ever had and the most rewarding pay I’ve ever received. And, when I don’t think about it, it’s enough. It’s my whole life and it’s okay. Because I’m not thinking about it.

But when I think about it? It makes me lonely. Honestly.

I know, you’re thinking, “Doesn’t she have any girlfriends?” and the answer is, “Not really. Not like that.” I have women in my life whom I adore and admire and respect, Meme, S’s mom, Moomie, J in VT, PSP, A in ME, but most of them are Super Far Away from me. And the ones who are close by are, well, my mom, who’s totally fun to hang out with but who works full time and isn’t right next door or anything, or sort of on the new-friend side (so there is potential there…). And I’ve never been really good at making new friends. Not really. And Husbandguy doesn’t have any friends for me to glom onto their wives, really. Not close by… Or at all…

Remember when you used to hang out in somebody’s bedroom or den or yard and just talk or listen to or play music or do nothing? And sometimes things would get silly and a little out-of-control and sometimes you’d regress and pull out the crayons or something, and it was Super Fun when that happened? And maybe someone would stop and buy Doritos or Twizzlers on their way there or you’d be at the cool house that had Little Debbies in the pantry and you’d just eat them and not care? But what about now? My friends like that are 4-20 hours away. And I’d never let my kids spend the afternoon eating chips and candy now so I can’t exactly do it myself.

But why not? I say NO too much.

Reunion

Favorite Cousin hosted my family's bi-annual family reunion this weekend, and I feel bad that we were not there because we didn't go to the last one she hosted either, and I know she worked really hard on it, especially since she just had the most adorable little baby boy a few months ago who I'm not getting to meet this weekend like I should be. But I'm not a very good cousin. I'm sorry FC.

And There Was Carpet!

I just finished cleaning Pete's room. Pete's room that has been un-navigable for the last several months. It took me 3 days to clean it, and by the end of my time in there today, I was throwing stuff away right and left (poor kid!). She might have opted to keep some of what I threw out if she had cleaned her room herself, but she didn't, even though she had many, many, many opportunities. And it could have been worse. I only have 1 tall kitchen sized trash bag full of trash, and a lot of it really is trash.

Here's the deal, though. I am not cleaning it again before the grandparents come for Lulu's party this weekend, and it will be clean for the party. So Pete will be told to put things away when she's done with them and that everything left out on Friday evening will be tossed into a trash bag by Husbandguy. He's too nice to do that, though. I'm just hoping the threat will be enough for her to put her toys away between now and then. It might mean more if I was the one who would be throwing everything away because I'd actually do it, but why does it always have to be me who's the Bad Guy? For real! It's not fair!!

But right now, her room is clean, and Lulu is napping so it will stay that way for at least 2 hours...

All Done

Finally! For the first time since setting up housekeeping more than 10 years ago, Husbandguy and I have a matching kitchen table and chairs that I love. When we first moved in, HG's mom bought us this very 80's pedestal table with a glass top and pink upholstered, rolling arm chairs. It was really... um... not my style. I used a table cloth all the time, hoping it would hide the table. At least we had a table, right? So when my aunt offered to ship my grandmother's kitchen table to us, I said yes without any hesitation. That was a couple of years ago. She sent my grandma's chairs too, but there were only 2 of them and they needed work so we'd been sitting on old folding card-table chairs forever. But this year, Moomie agreed to buy us new chairs for our anniversary to go with the table and about a month ago we found four unfinished ones that were just perfect and started on our project. Then we both got sick and the project stalled. But yesterday? Yay! We ate dinner with Nana and Poppop sitting on our new chairs at our newly refinished table, and it was wonderful. It was like it was supposed to be that way!

I tried to upload a picture for you, but blogger isn't letting me right now for some reason so I'll try again later.

But YAY! We're all done. And I love it!!

Ten Years? Really?

Today is Husbandguy and my anniversary. Ten years ago today we picked up Moomie's mom and met Nana, Poppop, Moomie, DH's best friend and PSP at the courthouse. The Grandpa's dad was sick and he had to choose where he was going to be and we missed him very much but he made the choice I would have made. It was Friday. As DH and I were driving away from our house, I noticed a car parked a couple of houses down that looked a lot like Moomie's. It turned out that it was Moomie. She was waiting for us to leave so she could sneak into our house and leave us a little cake and some champagne and flowers. She thought we'd go the other way out of the neighborhood, away from where she was, and when we pulled out and started driving toward her she had to quickly duck down in her seat so we wouldn't see her. Silly Moomie. The whole thing was pretty simple. We got to watch the couple before us get married because they hadn't realized they needed witnesses and the bride found Moomie in the bathroom and asked her if she would be willing to be a witness. During their ceremony, Moomie's mom asked, "What if she says no?" which fortunately made everyone laugh. Then we paid the magistrate the small fee and he married us. No big deal. Just right for us. Then we had dinner. It was wonderful. And low-key. And if I had it to do again I wouldn't change anything except maybe I'd get my hair done. A couple of years later we went to the wedding of one of DH's coworkers in a Catholic church. During the homily, the priest said that people who were married at the courthouse weren't actually married, but it seems to be sticking so far. And the IRS doesn't seem to care...

Anyway, happy anniversary Stinky! Eye (still) rub ewe!

My Grandma

I keep seeing Moomie's mom everywhere! Sitting at the dinner table with us, walking through our house, in the back seat of my car strapped into a car seat... Okay. It's not really her, but it is really cool to me how much Lulu looks like her. Especially since we named her after my grandma before we even saw her. Obviously we chose the right name.

New Chairs

My aunt and uncle sent me my grandmother's kitchen table and a couple of the chairs that went with it a few years back, and I love the table. Husbandguy doesn't like the chairs because they don't seem sturdy enough to him and, frankly, could use a little repair. Plus, there were only two. So we've been sitting on folding card table chairs. But yesterday we found perfect chairs, unfinished and inexpensive. Now I have a project! I get to finish the chairs and refinish the table to look however I want. There are so many options. What to do? What to do? Any suggestions? Poppop said to paint them pink. Lulu liked that idea, but it's not really my style... What do you guys think?

The Newest S-Man

His last name isn't S, but he definitely looks like he belongs in this family. Congratulations, Favorite Cousin and family!!

Welcome, Baby Boy!!

Friday Fives

These lists are everywhere and I can't think of anything else to write about so here you go. Let's learn a little more about Mommy's Nintendo:


Five years ago I was: Working at a bank... doing, um, temp work, I think...

One year ago I was: Doing what I do now but with Lulu home all day.

Yesterday I was: Enjoying the snow day, baking muffins, cleaning, trying to remember how old I'll be next Tuesday...

5 snacks I enjoy: Chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate covered espresso beans, cheese popcorn, those nachos you get at hockey games (or any nachos, really), muffins

5 things I would do if I suddenly had 1million dollars: Pay off the mortgage and Husbandguy's car, save for the girls to go to college, invest for DH's and my future, get a bigger house with a better kitchen, just spend a little tiny bit, like 1%.

5 locations I would like to run away to: Maine, Seattle, New Hampshire, anywhere there is ocean right there, Canada

5 bad habits I have: I spend too much time on the computer, I yell when I get angry or frustrated, I let DH do kid-duty more often than I should, I can't leave chocolate candy or pastries alone, I complain a lot

5 things I like doing: Talking to my kids, reading, writing, eating out, putting together some-assembly-required things (toys, furniture, etc.)

5 TV shows I like: Chuck, The Soup, The Amazing Race, um...

5 Things I hate doing: Cleaning, folding laundry, fighting with Pete about practicing her piano, being a PTA chair (I don't do that anymore), talking to DH about money

5 biggest joys of the moment: Pete, Lulu, DH, the bird feeder in our backyard, my job