Why My New Job Is Better than My Other Jobs

1. I don't have to stand in the stairwell during fire drills because I can't go down 13 flights of stairs because...
2. I don't have fire drills. Also...
3. I don't have to worry if the firemen are going to be able to get up to the 13th floor and rescue me if there is a fire because my new office doesn't have a 13th floor.
4. I don't have to deal with complaining clients about things I can't control (except for the one lady who keeps calling and insisting my phone number is her phone number and then arguing when I remind her that it can't be both hers and mine).
5. There is a birdfeeder out back with real birds!
6. Annual reviews around here usually involve some kind of dessert and balloons.
7. My bosses are really sweet and great at what they do.

One thing that's not better about it is that I hardly ever go out to lunch anymore.