Is It Wrong?

Is it wrong that I actually felt lighter on the way home from Howie's foster mom's ranch last night? I'm disappointed that we're too lazy to stick it out with him, but it's what is best for everyone. He won't stay "homeless" for long. He's very cute.

Letter to Howie's Next Family

Howie is a sweet dog. He was born May 1, 2008. He is very smart and loyal and loving. He doesn’t shed much unless he needs to be brushed, and then it comes off in little clumps. He’s a good eater and likes rawhide chews and peanut butter. Peanut butter is great when he has to take medicine; he doesn’t even notice the pill in the peanut butter. He has a problem with gas that gets better when he eats a high quality, low ingredient dog food like Natural Balance.

Howie completed Puppy Training at PetSmart and did very well. He’s incredibly responsive and can learn new things with just a little effort. He knows to come when he’s called; he knows “sit” and “down;” he will shake if you say “paw” and put your hand down for him; he’s working on “stay” and “leave it” and will do “drop it” most of the time but especially if you offer him something better than what he’s got. He has been working on learning not to jump up on people but hasn’t quite figured it out.

Howie has been an indoor pet. He loves people and other dogs. His favorite things to do are play with the 2 little girls he lived with and go to the dog park. He also enjoys walking on his leash and fetching toys that have been thrown for him. He really likes toys that squeak.

We are heartbroken to have to give him up and will miss him a lot. We know he will be a wonderful addition to your family.


This is an actual letter I wrote to send with Howie when we take him back to his foster mom tonight. I haven't told Pete yet. The reasons to find him a better home outnumber the reasons to keep him here, even though the main reason to keep him is a big one - we committed to him, and we feel guilty and terrible for breaking our commitment. We'll miss him but mostly I think it will be a relief...

When You're Seven...

It's hard to be what everybody expects you to be when you're 7.

You're supposed to be smart and strong and sweet.

You're not supposed to tell lies (or "forget" the truth) or be snotty.

Everyone has all sorts of advice to help you be what they want you to be: "Put your toys where they go so they don't get lost," "Practice your piano so you can have a good lesson," "Wear socks with those shoes so your feet don't hurt," "Brush your hair now so it's not so knotted later."

And they're always telling you "no" about everything. Or at least, "not right now" and you're supposed to just not care.

You're not supposed to yell or shriek or sit on your head on the couch or stand up at the table while you eat dinner.

You have to get yourself dressed and put on your own socks and gather your things in time to catch the bus every day. Even when you're sooooo sleepy.

It's hard. Very hard.

Poor Pete...

What's On My Mind, you ask?

All sorts of things are on my mind. Here you go.

First, I don't think Husbandguy likes his job. He doesn't seem happy about being there and he doesn't hesitate to call off for the littlest reason. He's fine and everything, but I wish he liked going. I get it, though. Apparently these engineers are even less social than the engineers he used to work with. Hard to imagine, right? Still... But he goes and works and gets paid and just found out that he might be able to work from home sometimes so maybe it's getting better.

Also, 2 out of the last 3 times I've taken my shot (for MS), I've had flu-like side effects. I don't normally. I outgrew them years ago. I only get them when there's something else wrong, like a really bad cold or infection or something. But I don't currently have a really bad cold or infection so I'm not sure what's up. Last night I even had a little fever. It sucked.

And then, I am a terrible person. I contacted Howie's foster mom and asked her to take him back. Nothing is final yet, but it looks like we're going to be pet-free soon. It's for the best. It really is. He's too big and he eats poop and nobody helps me train him or clean up after him and we spend more time telling him "no" and "off" and "leave it" than we spend enjoying him and he barks at the neighbors in their own garage all the way across the street and jumps up on anyone who comes into our house, including us, and knocks Lulu down all the time. I know most of his problems are our fault. I feel really bad for quitting and know he could be a great dog if someone took the time to train him right, but I'm not having any fun being the only one who does that and it won't work if I'm the only one who does it and I just can't deal with the poop-eating thing. The other day I went out in the yard and cleaned it up so he could be out there without me having to worry and he apparently went out and pooped first thing (I didn't see him do it). Then he came to the door and barked like he wanted to be let in and when I opened the door he ran over to the new pile and started eating it. It was like he wanted to be sure I saw him. That was the day I got in touch with his foster mom. The last straw. I suck, but it will be sooo much less stressful here once he's gone, but I suck. I know.

So there you go. That's what's on my mind. I'm really glad I'm seeing my PhD next week.

Have You Missed Me?

Sorry. Nothing particularly interesting has been going on. I mean, I had my birthday and got a Nintendo DS and the Grandpa and Meme got a puppy and it snowed (I think I mentioned that) and I went for an ECHO stress test this morning because I'm particulary sensitive to PVCs, apparently, and they've been bothering me recently (the cardiologist said nothing is wrong with my heart, though), but other than that? Nope. Nada. Oh, and Poppop got laid off, but he's handling that fine. And Pete went with me to church this week and really liked it and will be coming with me next time, too. And the dog stinks, but I can't bathe him until tomorrow afternoon. Also I think he's started eating poop. We might need to talk more about this later. I had a dream last night that I said out loud that I don't want him anymore, which isn't true, exactly, but in the dream it didn't feel wrong to say it. Let me think about this a little more and then I'll try to clarify. Don't worry. Unless Husbandguy insists, we're not getting rid of our puppy. Just day-to-day stuff really. I did find out that President Obama is planning on giving a weekly address and posting it on whitehouse.gov every Saturday, which is the closest thing I've found to the Barack Obama Show so I've bookmarked it. You should check it out.

What have you been doing?

I Can't Believe I Watched the Whole Thing!

It is uncharacteristic for me to get intensely involved in much outside of my family. Pop culture, world affairs, politics... I tend to prefer the highlight reel over actual events. Sure I'm interested in things, but the little details? Do they change me in some way? No? Then who needs them! This is why newspaper subscriptions are a waste of money for us. Sometimes I wish this wasn't the case...

However, I spent yesterday morning glued to the TV. I did all kinds of Insufficient Mothering to my children. I stayed in my pajamas until after 1:00. All so I could watch the world change. The only other time I remember being that swept up in anything was in September just over 7 years ago. The world changed that day too.

Tuesday was a snow day for my girls, the first snow we've had this year, a whole inch-and-a-half. Thank goodness Husbandguy ditched work. Otherwise who would have played outside with the girls and the dog while I waited for (now) President Obama to finish with church? And thank goodness they didn't let us watch them eat lunch or I never would have gotten my shower! These are the things I could normally skim over, by the way. But not this time for some reason.

I realized at one point during President Obama's inauguration address, that I was actually listening to what he was saying. Not in the way that I "listen" to a minister give a sermon or a committee chairperson give an update. I was really listening to the words and his meaning and I cared about it.

I'm excited to see what happens next. What a mess he's in! And it's not his mess. But the whole world is waiting for him to clean it up...


Funny Aside: This morning I was talking to Lulu about her snow day and asked her if she remembered what was on TV all morning. Her answer: "The Arack Obama Show!"

for my grandma - ii

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” – Maria Montessori

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for my grandma - i

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More Evidence of Her Genius

This morning, Moomie came over for a few minutes to drop off my birthday present (thank you, Moomie!). She was just going to stay for a little bit because the girls and I had plans to go meet Husbandguy for lunch. Pete's been wanting to check out the cafeteria in his building. When we were getting ready to leave, Lulu announced that she didn't want to go - she wanted to stay home with her g-ma. Moomie was fine with that (thank you, Moomie!), but Lulu is only 2 so we asked her a dozen different ways if that was what she really wanted. Apparently it was. She never changed her answer. As I was heading out the door with Pete, Lulu suddenly wailed, "Noooooo!" I thought she'd realized we were leaving her and she was going to change her mind. I thought she'd say, "I wanna go toooooo!" Like an average 2 year-old would. When I asked her what was wrong, this happened:

LL: I just have a question.
MN: What's that, kiddo?
LL: Tomorrow? Can I come with you to lunch with Daddy?

I made a deal with her that she and I would have lunch with Daddy later in the week because how could I not? My Very Small Child wanted 2 things. These things conflicted in such a way that she couldn't have both today, and she knew that. And she, with her Very Small Giant Brain, solved this problem in a very grown-up way. All on her own.

• I want 2 things.
• I can only have one now.
• I'll make sure Mom knows that I'd like to have the other one later.

She's not 2. Nuh-uh.

Update - 7:55PM: Just before dinner, Lulu explained to me that the reason she had Lip Smackers smeared all over her face was that she was too young to know better.

One Goal --> half-check

Remember? I was going to check out the Unitarian Universalist Church? It was one of my goals for this year? Remember? It's actually a 2-part goal; I am also going to join the choir.

So, this weekend, I got up on Sunday and came up with 2 Really Good Reasons* not to go and then... I went anyway. Just to irritate Husbandguy (if you ask him). It was the experience I was expecting and that's a good thing. The service was MLK-themed, which was especially appropriate considering the big change coming on Tuesday (and MLK's birthday and all). The lay leader, who was black, and the minister both talked a lot about slavery and race and Obama. There were some poignant moments (the woman sitting next to me, who happened to be a friend of mine, got kind of choked up at one point). The minister talked about the fact that the White House was built by slaves and wondered if those men ever imagined a president living there with the same skin color they had. And there was laughter - the lay leader told a story about the time his father, who was a "Ford man," was given a Chevy. I'm not going to try to retell it, but trust me, it was funny. And there was music, an African drumming group who didn't look particularly authentic but who did a great job, and the choir director led the whole congregation during the hymns. He let us get through the first verse and then praised how well we'd done and told us to put down our hymnals. That made me kind of uncomfortable because I like to read the music, not just the words, when I sing, but I tried anyway.

After the service, I grabbed a cup of coffee and gathered with a bunch of other newbies in the minister's office for a little conversation. He does this monthly, apparently, and this Sunday just happened to be the day. Lucky me! Then, since the choir didn't sing at the early service, I thought I'd try to sit in for the first part of the second service and sneak out after I'd heard the choir. The minister suggested I sit at the back of the hall, which was the opposite of what I was thinking but turned out to be the best place to sneak out (it's where the late people sneak in). I was moderately impressed with the choir. They are skilled enough that the song I heard was 4-part harmony sung a cappella, a challenging task for a small church choir. I think I'll go to a couple more services before I jump into the choir, though, just because that's how I am.

Next week, when their early service is a family service led by the older youth, I'm going to take Pete with me. I think she'd like it. Usually she would go to Religious Education class with the other kids during the service. I mean, she could come to the service, but I think she'd enjoy the RE class more, especially since she's friends with my friend's daughter who goes. You know what I mean. But next Sunday the service is designed for everyone. So hopefully she'll come. I'm going. Either way.


*One was bad weather (it was sleeting and raining and snowing a littlelittlelittle bit); the other was that if I didn't hurry I wouldn't have time to take a shower (but I actually did).