I Need a Deadline, I Think

This whole being a grown-up and writing for my job thing isn’t going very well. For a couple of reasons. One is, you know, Follies, which is way easier to think about and work on than the stuff I get to claim all for myself. If something doesn’t work in Follies, I’m not the director and can look around like “Whose idea was that?”, and the congregation will appreciate the effort anyway.

The other is that I don’t have anything to be working toward so I don’t quite know what to be working on. It’s kind of like when I first stopped eating meat and was all unfocused and, “Well what do I eat now?” and my friend A-ME suggested I get a vegetarian cookbook, which gave me direction (the direction was just finding a vegetarian cookbook at first, but it was enough) and now I eat pizza with artichokes! Mmmm…

Sorry. Where was I going? Oh yeah…

I have several projects, new and old, that I rifle through every day. A little bit here. A word or 2 there. But I can’t seem to stick to anything. And when I get really uninspired I write something else not useful. The other day? I wrote a description of the back of my hand. Seriously.

I don’t have writer’s block. That would be easier to deal with, I think, because it’s a real problem real writers have and can’t just be chalked up to laziness or apathy. I do well with a goal, though, a deadline, a due date. But where do you get one of those when nobody is waiting for your work?

LL Says:

Lulu discovered beef bologna last week. She (ew) likes it (ew). She and I were talking about where bologna comes from (she brought it up). She made me stop talking about it with a sort of ignorance-is-bliss attitude but then said this:

"No, we can't eat cows. Cows are our friends and they lay baby cows."

It may seem like she has potential to be a vegetarian if she ever learns to eat vegetables, but I wouldn't bet on it. That kid can put away some murder meat.

Believe It Or Not

A year ago, I didn't like zucchini. Or onions. Or mushrooms or eggplant. I'm still on the fence about mushrooms and eggplant (together or separate), but since I gave up eating things that used to walk around I have discovered that... believe it or not... vegetables are yummy! A year ago, if I had told Husbandguy that I was going to become a vegetarian, he would have said, "What are you going to eat, then? You don't eat vegetables. You'll starve!" He may have actually said that 11 months ago, when I did tell him I was going to be a vegetarian. And oh how wrong he was (I think he may have been projecting, actually). Because, you see, when you can't eat the "easy" stuff, you tend to discover that the things that repelled you before are actually worth trying. That doesn't mean you're necessarily going to love them right away (see mushrooms and eggplant comment above), but for me, about 60% of the time, it does mean that. It's inspiring, really, and makes me want to try more things or things I didn't like prepared in different ways (like brussel sprouts not overcooked). And now when I tell my kids that they can't say they don't like something until they've actually tried it, I can back it up with example. My 1-year vegeversary is coming up. I'm trying to figure out how to celebrate it. I'm considering also giving up eating things that used to swim around, but that would make it really hard to eat out with my family, who all still eat things that used to have faces...

Aside: I had a fabulous beet salad when the Grandpa, HG and I went out for my birthday dinner. I don't usually like salads because of all the lettuce, but this was just beets and arugula and candied pecans and it was amazing and now I'm craving it but it's 4 hours away and I don't have any beets here...

Yummy New Things

You'd Be Wrong You would think that, having been a vegetarian for nearly a year by now, I would have cooked tofu before now, but nope, that wouldn't be true. While we were at TG and Meme's this weekend, though, Meme said, "For lunch today let's cook this Tofu with Spinach and Mushrooms in Ginger Peanut Sauce from my really awesome cookbook that also has a yummy recipe for roasted sesame green beans," (that is exactly what she said - pretty much) and I said, "Okay!" and we did. Neither of us has ever cooked with tofu before so we followed the recipe (don't tell HG - oh wait, no, we changed it a little by using crunchy peanut butter and adding water chestnuts - we should have also added red pepper, but anyway...)... where was I? Oh right! We followed the cooking-the-tofu part of the recipe.

And? The Point? My lunch today was really good. And it turns out, cooking with tofu is really easy. And I think I'll be doing that more now. Because the rest of my family eats stuff that used to walk around, and that just doesn't appeal to me.

Pete Says:

During lunch today, Pete came up with a good name for chicken-style vegetarian products:

ChickUn (get it?)!

Also, today she turns 8. sigh... Happy Pete Day!

A Meme

Septembermom did not tag me for this so I stole it (and I am not taking it personally that she didn't tag me since I've been terrible about posting...).

The Rules for this meme:

1. Respond and rework. Answer the questions on your blog. Replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, and add one more question of your own.

2. Tag other people.

What is your current obsession? Cosette. She is all I can think about. I can't wait for Dawn to send more photos. Next week she'll be big enough for us to go and see her in person. Aw! I can't wait!!

What are you wearing today?
My comfy old shorts with purple paint stains (that the guy at the pottery place said would come out when Pete accidentally painted me but which didn't) and a hole where Howie's claw caught them. Also my blue 3/4-sleeve shirt that I love almost as much as my stripey 3/4-sleeve shirt.

What’s for dinner?
Not sure yet. The girls had sandwiches of their choice, but I'm waiting for Husbandguy to get back from Pete's swimming lesson and we'll eat together.

What would you eat for your last meal?
Hmm... That's a tricky one... Would it include meat? Probably not. Probably something southwestern flavored with black beans and cheddar cheese. And chocolate cake, moist and dark with little or no icing, for dessert.

What relaxes you the most?
I had a funny answer, but it might raise alarms. It has to do with a prescription my neurologist gives me when I'm on steroids. Actually, it is accurate to say that Xanax relaxes me the most, but not the most often. That honor would go to reading, I think. Or a quiet house with no conflict...

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Maine. On the beach. With my notebook.

Which language do you want to learn?
Spanish. Definitely Spanish. Then I could talk to the neighbors. And anyone else who speaks Spanish but not English.

What do you love most about where you currently live?
Our next-door neighbors, even though we can't talk to them without an interpreter (something thankfully usually available in the form of a grandchild). I am on a mission to move to a bigger kitchen house in the very near future and wish I could take them with us.

What style is your current home decorated in?
Early Boarding House. This is a term I heard from someone when I was younger (Moomie, if it was you, take credit in the comments, okay?) and it is appropriate, I think.

If you were a time traveler what era would you live in?
I would want to go to the future and see how everything works out. Far enough into the future that some of the big questions have been answered.

What is your favorite color?
Blue. I am a big fan of just about any color, but blue is the best.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
The shorts I mentioned above. They are comfy and fit just right.

What were you doing ten years ago?
I was still technically a newlywed (1.5 years) and enjoying my 20's. No kids. No curfew. *sigh*

If you had $300 now, what would you spend it on?
Cosette. Shhh...

What are you going to do after this?
Put Lulu in a bubble bath and finish folding the laundry that I washed on Monday and Tuesday (don't judge me!). I might write a little if I am inspired.

What are your favorite films?
I really, really like "Ever After." Maybe that's cheesy, but I'm a sucker for Cinderella. Oh! Also I love "Cinderella." And "The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh." And I loved those movies even before I had daughters. I can't think of any grown-up movies right now.

Your favorite books?
My 2 most favorite books of all time are "Little Women," which my dad introduced me to when I was in the 2nd grade and "A Prayer for Owen Meany," which I discovered on my own as a result of raiding my oldest brother's bookshelf. He didn't have that book, but he had a bunch of other ones by John Irving and I had to have more! (Do you want those books back, by the way, Big Brother?)

Do you collect anything?
I used to collect elephants and still have an elephant collection and welcome new elephants as gifts, but I don't actively collect them on my own at the moment. Oh, but I do collect recipes. And then I don't follow them...

What makes you follow a blog?
Humor, good writing. I also follow the blogs of people I know personally, which usually also include humor and good writing, which says something about the circles I move in, maybe.

What was the most enjoyable thing you did today?
I had a veggie sausage on a mini bagel for breakfast. It was kind of downhill after that, unfortunately.

Ann's Question:What makes you comment on a blog?
If something in a post really strikes me, I usually leave a comment. I also like to leave comments every now and then to encourage bloggers I enjoy to continue blogging.

Amy's Question:What is your favorite thing to do when you have some free time?
Writing, reading, baking. Not in that order. Not sure what the order would be, though...

Tonya's question:What is a talent you wished you had?
I wish I knew more about decorating. It would be nice to put a name to my tastes and be able to find more things that appeal to me.

Gena's question:As you may know, I am all about "Serene Moments", so what is your "Serene Moment"?
I am woefully short on "Serene Moments" these days.

Noelle's question: If you could go to heaven who would you see, and why?
My grandparents. I miss each and every one of them and don't feel like I learned as much from them as I should have.

Vickie's question: Who is your favorite actor?
Oh, I don't know. Oh yes I do! It's Lulu. She is SOOOOO dramatic!!

Kelly's question: What was your favorite subject in school? I really enjoyed my language classes. English, Spanish, and Latin. It was fun to learn the history of the languages and their literature.

My Question: What do you want to be when you grow up? Or if you've already achieved that goal, what was it? I would like to be a published author. I think I'd like to see my children's fiction published, but even getting this most recent short story in a journal or something would count. I'm not trying very hard to achieve my goal, yet. Guess I should grow up...

Do I have to tag someone, even if I stole the meme? I guess I should. I'll tag Princess Sparklepants, ...45+aA, and Mommy T. You know, if you guys want to...

Meatless Whether They Like It or Not

Last night for dinner we had "Southwest Fettuccine Bowl" which I found in my Betty Crocker vegetarian cookbook. I really like black beans so I loved it. And everyone else seemed to like it too. Except Lulu, who doesn't like much, really. Pete even expressed surprise that our meal was meatless and good. Me being a vegetarian is really a Great Big Adventure in Eating New Things for her. That's cool.

Husbandguy, who is the biggest resister to the whole vege-meal revolution but who would, frankly, benefit the most from it, said it was "fine." When I pressed ('cause that's what I do), he admitted that it tasted "good." I asked if he felt satisfied and he said, "I guess. I don't know." But when I asked if he felt like he had eaten a whole meal, he said that he did not feel like that. So I would say that he didn't feel satisfied. Wouldn't you? Then, as soon as the girls were in bed, he made himself a big bowl of my cereal, which I bought for me and which is healthy with fiber and organic things in it and which was on the shelf right next to the Froot-O's, which I bought for him and which has ick in it, and he finished the box. Of my cereal. And didn't put it on the shopping list.

This morning I cooked vege-sausages for the girls and me, and since they're 2 to a pack, I popped one in the nonstick frying pan for HG and toasted him a couple of leftover silver dollar pancakes, which I had in the freezer because I always make extra to freeze for easy breakfasts, and made him a little breakfast sandwich. He whined said this: "But I don't usually get hungry in the morning," and I said this: "That's because you don't usually eat breakfast, but you should. If you start eating a little breakfast, eventually you'll be hungry in the morning." So he took his little sandwich with him in the car, but he wasn't happy about it, and who knows what he did with it. He probably ate it...

Also, I packed his lunch today (cold salmon noodle salad, cherries & carrot sticks, and pretzels). Hopefully he'll eat that instead of going out for 4x as much fat and calories.

His doctor is concerned about his weight and cholesterol, and so am I, but he isn't. I don't want to force him to get healthy, but I make the menu and do the shopping and cooking so...

I've been resisting it for years, this transformation in to the Healthy Eating Tyrant, but I think it's happening. Guess we should all just get used to it.

Despues de la Fiesta

This afternoon we were invited to the neighbors' house to help them celebrate the marriage of their daughter. When Vecina (am I using that right?) came over with her grandsons (handy translators, those boys - and handsome! and I mean that not in a creepy way because they're 8) earlier in the week, she told me the fiesta would start a la uno so we showed up a la uno y quince and were still about 3 hours early. Why can't we be late anywhere?

Vecina served carnitas y arroz con tortillas. I knew she would (it's really good - I ate it last time) and wasn't concerned that I couldn't eat it this time because we live right next door and I could run home if I got so hungry I couldn't go on, but when she found out I don't eat meat, she got all worried, even though I said again and again, "Está bien," and ate arroz y tortillas. Eventually she found these tamales deliciosos y dulces that tasted like creamed corn (only better) and were vegetarian. I ate 2 (with Pete's help), and she wasn't worried about me anymore.

We don't speak Spanish. I know a few Spanish phrases in the present tense (I asked Vecina, "Necessita Usted ayuda?" and she knew what I meant, and I could talk to the very small niños well enough), but I don't know enough to converse with the grown-ups or even eavesdrop, and mi familia knows even less than I do. So we don't mingle well with our neighbors, but we got by. The grandsons' prima, Ana, was a big help. When I mentioned to her that I felt like I should be talking to someone, she introduced me to her brother and his wife, who both spoke English and had children, and I felt more comfortable. But I also still felt like I really need to be taking Spanish classes so I can be a better neighbor.

Overall, though, we had a very nice time. The girls did fine because all of the other children were bilingual, and play is sort of omnilingual anyway, isn't it? The party is still going on, but the girls needed showers so we had to leave. They hadn't cut the cake when we left, which was an issue for Lulu, but Ana said she'd bring some cake over for us after they cut it, and Lulu reluctantly agreed.

After I post this, I'll be checking the community college's course listing to see what my best option is for learning mas Español before the next fiesta. So you know...

Sneaking

Pepperoni?

Jostle the trash can -
The old grapes almost cover the package.
What else can I throw away today?

Pizza Night is going vegetarian.
Shh...

Pete Says:

Waiting for the bus yesterday, Pete sprung this on me:

P: I just realized you being a vegetarian means you can't eat Bob Evans chili any more.
MN: Nope. You're right.
P: But you love Bob Evans chili. You're going to miss it.
MN: Probably so.
P: Wouldn't it just be easier if you started eating what everyone else eats again?

She's trying to talk me out of being vegetarian! I'm pretty sure that this past weekend she almost said, "Remember before [you became a vegetarian] when it was more fun ?" but stopped herself and rephrased before she actually said that.

Sorry, kiddo. I think it's too late...

Some Thoughts About Food (just to warn you)

The other day I saw an ad for a pizza that was absolutely blanketed in pepperoni, and I had mixed feelings. The pizza looked... good? I guess, but I didn't want it exactly. I didn't want to eat pepperoni, but I did want the satisfied feeling I used to get from eating pepperoni. I realized then that I had been feeling a little lost. It seemed like all I was eating was beans and rice and veggie burgers, and frankly, that's boring. You know? That's not all I eat, but it felt that way.

And then I checked my email and I had a fantastically well-timed note from my friend A-ME, who is way better at Being Vegetarian than I am because she's been doing it longer. The note was all full of advice and resources and exactly what I was needing. You know the biggest thing I got from her email, though? I should buy a vegetarian cookbook. Duh! How am I supposed to know what to eat? I have never been a big vegetable eater. I like grains and legumes, and every day I find that more and more vegetables aren't as gross as I thought they were (like mushrooms), but I have very little experience with most of them and so felt lost. Not lost enough to want a ham sandwich (even an accidental one), though.

Husbandguy and I had some nice time to ourselves this past weekend. Moomie took the girls for Friday night and all day Saturday so we went to the bookstore. Usually this is kind of a production unless we end up just spending all of our time in the children's section so it was nice to be able to browse the cookbooks without having to say every 10 seconds, "Just a minute, sweetie. Mommy is looking for something. We'll go look at your books in a minute." And I found a useful volume with a ton of information about the different whole foods vegetarians eat and a lot of yummy-sounding recipes that are cross-referenced in the info section. So if I happen to have an eggplant on hand and am wondering what I can do with an eggplant and why I should eat it in the first place, I can look in The Vegetarian Cook's Bible and learn all about eggplant and quickly flip to recipes in which I can use it. Who knows if this is the best vegetarian cookbook or not. At least I've got some help now. And I feel a little more confident. Thanks, A-ME, by the way.

I still don't want to eat pepperoni. I'm not grossed out by it or anything, but it doesn't look like food to me anymore. My family loves it, and HG would live on it if he could, but I'd as soon pluck the leaves off the holly bush by the driveway and eat them. So there's progress!

Is It Normal...?

Is it normal to dream about accidentally eating a ham sandwich a few weeks after giving up ham? I bet it's not uncommon...

Teaching My Kids to Share

This morning I made biscuits for breakfast because I really wanted to try the veggie sausages I had in my freezer, and I thought a sausage biscuit sounded like a good way to do that. I knew Lulu was going to want to try it too. She usually eats about half of my breakfast, and she looooooves sausage. So when she said, "What's that?" all interested and hungry-sounding, I simply said, "It's made out of vegetables..." and that settled it. She didn't want any.

What if Someone Asks Me Why I'm a Vegetarian All the Sudden?

So I was thinking, what do I say when someone asks me why I'm suddenly a vegetarian? Nobody has asked me that yet. Well, except for Pete. She said, "Why don't you eat [meat] anymore?" and I said, "Because it's gross," and she said, "Oh." But someone who has already been 7 years old might need more of an answer than that so I've been thinking.

It started as kind of a personal challenge. And it really was all-of-the-sudden in that I didn't say to myself awhile ago, "I'm going to stop eating animals in early March." But I had thought about it here and there. Mostly I thought, "What will I eat if I don't eat meat?" or "My family won't give up meat so how can I?" But then I talked to Meme who said that I don't have to eat meat just because Husbandguy does and a couple weeks later I stopped. And my reason was simply to see if I could do it. That's how I quit smoking too, but that was harder.

The more I think about it, though, the more reasons I find for why this is a very good thing. First of all, I feel better. We talked about this a couple of days ago. Remember? It's nice to feel clear-headed most of the time instead of muddle-headed all of the time. Also, I can have carrots and peanut butter for a snack (I could before, but now I justify the peanut butter as needed protein and feel better about it). Another reason is that I was always worried about undercooked meats and stuff. HG will testify that it was especially tricky to cook chicken for me; if it was even slightly almost pink looking, it grossed me out and I couldn't eat it because I didn't want to be poisoned. Hamburgers were the same way. I did like my steaks cooked medium, but if they bled when I cut them, I couldn't eat them. Also, when you're eating that stuff, sometimes you take a bite and get a chunk of something, gristle, bone, goo, whatever, and there's no way to know for sure what it is and that always grossed me out too and made me have to stop eating whatever it was. And now I don't have to worry about that, really. Vegetables don't have bones. Some have goo, but I just don't eat those vegetables.

Randomly, I have learned a few of things that probably won't interest you, but here they are anyway.

• You can't really replace the meat in sloppy joes with lentils unless everyone is on board with that because it's hard to pretend like they're not lentils. It's good if you like that kind of thing, but not if you're HG ("It would be good as a side dish," he said). Plus, it's kind of wet and might make the bun soggy, but it's tasty if you mix in some rice.
• I don't like eggplant. Not yet. I'll keep trying.
• HG and I thought a good name for tofu bacon would be tofakon, but I don't know anything about tofu or whether you can make it look like bacon so I'm not inventing that today.
• I hadn't planned on giving up fish, but I really don't like fish and so have given it up along with all the other animals. But not eggs and milk because I'd really miss ice cream.

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Oh, by the way, I am disappointed in the lack of response to my poetry challenge from the other day. Mommy T is my only taker so far (Yay Mommy T!). You don't have to commit to a daily poem, but come on! You can try to write a little, can't you?

Is It All In My Head?

I used to blame the fact that I always felt dizzy to some degree (anywhere from just mildly foggy all the way to nauseating vertigo) on my MS. It made sense. It seemed like it was probably neurological. You know? But I noticed today, after not eating meat for almost 2 weeks, that I feel WAAAY clearer all the time. When I'm upright and all normal and stuff, I actually feel normal. Not like I'm underwater or just getting off a roller coaster or any of those other ways to feel that had become "normal." And I have to wonder: was it what I was eating? There's no way to test it. I'm not going to Arby's just to see if a beef and cheddar makes me dizzy. I suppose I'll just enjoy it and hope changing my diet really has changed my life (more than I expected it to).

2 Declarations, a Confession, and a Wish List

Hi! I'm ready to tell you these 2 things. I believe I am actually committed to these 2 things.

• THING 1: Lulu is Potty Trained. She has accepted that Pull Ups are only for sleeping in and abandoned her lunch yesterday for an unprompted potty break. She needed to go and she went. And now the Grandpa will babysit for us!
• THING 2: I don't eat pigs or cows anymore. I had hesitated to mention that I was considering this before now because I wasn't sure I could do it, but I've been red and other-white meat free for a week now and am really enjoying it. HG and the girls are not with me on this. Well, they support me. But they're not joining me. That's okay. It's not about them. For the moment I still eat poultry and fishy-things. Baby steps, I say. Although I've had several meals in the past week that were totally animal-meat-free. Eventually I should be able to declare myself a vegetarian, but I don't think it will be so easy to become a vegan. I like dairy too much.

And now I must confess that I had pudding for breakfast this morning. Rice pudding. Actually brown rice pudding with maple syrup and vanilla. Homemade of course. That's okay, right? It's breakfasty.

Now for the wish list. I would like to have:

• berry bushes in my yard
• a food dehydrator
• a rice cooker (because I never get it right on the stove top unless I use the boil-in-bag kind, which are actually very convenient for rice pudding cravings)
• many, many yummy, high-iron, meatless recipes (if you've got those, will you share with me please?)
• another visit with the Grandpa and Meme (I'm working on that - the snow days, all 3 of them, are making it hard to plan).

I hope your day is productive and healthy. And fun! Now I'm going to go vacuum. WHO AM I?!