I know for a fact that he completely disregarded my concern at least one time and drove with Pete in the car. And I suspect that he did most, if not all, of the driving during Pete's recent week-long visit with them and then convinced her to lie about it. My evidence is this: a. I know they don't agree with, and I don't trust that they respect, my feelings about this and b. Pete said that they were "going to drop Krista off at work and then Poppop said he would drive us around, I mean, Nana is going to drive us around until it is time for dinner." She claims she misspoke, even though I've tried to make it clear that she won't be in trouble if Poppop did drive with her in the car, and she insists that he didn't drive at all. I hate to say it, but I don't believe her.
And unfortunately it's making me not want to let Lulu go for a week, or even a long weekend, by herself. She is only 4 and won't be able to stand up for herself and will certainly be riding in a car that Poppop and his one eye are driving.
Look at it this way with me, for a moment. Maybe I'm wrong and Poppop can see perfectly well enough to drive a 3-ton deathtrap and nothing terrible will ever happen to my children. Or maybe I'm right that he can't but he'll get lucky and nothing terrible will ever happen to my children. But what if I am right and his luck runs out and there is a horrible tragic crash and my child is hurt or killed or has to witness one or both of her grandparents or someone else get killed. I would never forgive them, either one of them because she (Nana) is just as guilty for letting him drive, and this, at the very least, would certainly not be good for my marriage and at the very worst would completely ruin my life.
So? Should I let Lulu go by herself? She so desperately wants to be big enough to go alone and probably won't understand my reasons for not wanting her to, but I'm truly worried. And, honestly, I'm a little pissed off that nobody, not even HG, sees eye to eye with me on this.
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5 comments:
Hahaha, that "eye to eye" thing was funny!
But on a more serious note, I can relate. My mother is a terrible driver too, and has totalled several cars in a row. Her car is old and she is just plain dangerous to drive with. So we siblings all feel the same as you--terrified to let her drive our kids around in her death trap. So as for you....I personally wouldn't let her go there unless you can get a promise from them not to drive anywhere. If you can't, or can't trust that promise, in the end your child's life is more important, right?
You're right, they're wrong. Your #1 job is the protection of your kids (not the getting along with your/his parents or your youngest being pleased with you). So keep on, supermom!
Validation!
I have another friend whose in-laws are verbotten to drive her husband's brother's kids, for much the same reasons. I will validate you, because I think this relates to the heart-in-throat panic I feel when I think about the inevitability that my mother-in-law, of whom I am quite fond, will almost certainly put Pumpkinhead on a horse this summer. By himself. Without a helmet of any kind. Especially since she put him on a horse WHEN HE WAS TWO (although not by himself.) EEEK.
You are on the right track! I see eye to eye with you. You're right to worry about your child's safety in that situation. I would worry too.
My vote is with you too...safety first!
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