Friday, March 19, 2010

Hi. My Name Is Bel, and I Have a Problem

I am certain that my family is the only family that deals with this issue. It seems like such an unlikely problem for a small group of people who love each other very much to have. Our children, Sweet Pete and Lovely Lulu, suffer from a terrible affliction. It's awful, really. It makes everyone miserable. And irritable. And loud.

Oddly, the problem crops up mainly when they are in proximity to each other. Separately, they don't seem to suffer much at all. Oh, every once in a while one of them will exhibit the occasional bout here and there, but those instances that occur when they are apart seem infinitely more manageable than when they are together. Husbandguy and I have considered that perhaps they are allergic to each other, but unfortunately we think the difficulty is not actually something that can be treated with Benadryl or immune-building allergy shots.

I'm just going to say it. The first step to solving a problem is admitting it, right?

My darlings suffer from... suffer from... I can't say it. It's too terrible... Okay. Deep breath... Our beautiful girls have... AAUGGHHH! THEYHAVESIBLINGRIVALRY!!!

There. I said it. That was sooo hard to admit. You should be grateful that you don't have to deal with this. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Well, maybe my worst enemy. But not the 2 of you, my faithful readers.

Don't try to claim that your children also talk over each other and tattle on each other and take each other's toys/markers/shoes/etc. and shove each other and whine, "STOP IIIT!" or "MOahOM!" (seriously. that's what it sounds like. not normal, right?) and complain non-stop about everything or intentionally get into trouble so that the focus is shifted away from the other child and onto her. I won't believe you if you say it happens to you. It's too terrible, too difficult, too miserable-making for other families to possibly be experiencing it too. There can't be that much negative energy in the world.

So what are our options, we wonder. We've considered sending one of them to live with grandparents but cannot decide which to send away and which to keep. It's not an option that one of us takes one of them and lives somewhere else (although I'd move with Pete to the house we saw on Monday if I had to) (what? I didn't say anything). Yesterday afternoon I made a rule that they weren't allowed to talk to each other, but that only worked for about half-an-hour, and I had to really focus on paying attention to both of them at the same time for it to work.

Sigh... I don't know. Poor me...


Aimee said...

That NEVER happens here! Clearly you are doing SOMETHING wrong as a parent. Maybe a 12 step program will help you, as parents, so that you can overcome this horrible affliction that only you and other bad parents have. I'm so sorry to have to be so brutally honest.

Omgirl said...

I never thought of it as sibling rivalry. I always figured it was more of sibling buggary. They just love to bug each other. And me. But unfortunately, Sibling Buggary has a lot of the same unfortunate symptoms as your kids' disease. Especially the taking of toys/food/anythingthattheotheronehas and the MOOOOOOOOOOOoAAAAAAAM! But for me the worst symptom is the shrieking. Daphne purposely upsets Beck so he'll shriek, and he shrieks so I'll intervene. So instead I've started sending both of them to their room the second I hear a shriek. I'm not sure if it works to change the behavior, but I don't hear much shrieking with the doors closed!

So sorry.

PSPants said...

K. So at my house, it goes like this: PHead says to Beanie, "YAYA, You are NOT my best friend." Beanie laughs. PHead pouts. I fuss at PHead for being mean to Beanie and make him apologize. At my house, the little one is always the instigator. I thought it would be different in that they are so many years apart, but maybe not.

If you are looking for takers, I'll take either one of your girls (but I won't give them back!!!).

The Grandpa said...

So that's 3, now it's 4, "faithful readers, not 2.

septembermom said...

The rivalry here is driving me crazy some days :) I just say to my hubby, "Let's try and keep them alive while they're in our house. Some days the boys just go after each other with so much aggression. Their play turns into pushing very quickly. Must be all that testosterone.

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